How to Make Spiritual Practice More Playful
In this episode, Joe Clements shares his personal journey with mindfulness and meditation, sharing the highs and lows of his own practice and the importance of self-compassion, especially during tough times.
Drawing on Buddhist teachings, Joe discusses the mind's nature and offers practical tips for finding inner peace amidst daily chaos. He encourages us to approach our thoughts and emotions with curiosity and kindness, reminding us that true healing comes from accepting ourselves fully, imperfections and all.
Mindfulness, Joe reminds us, isn't about perfection but about embracing the beautiful messiness of being human.
A transcript of this podcast can be found below.
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How to Make Spiritual Practice More Playful
[00:00:00] So we usually start with a little arriving meditation, and I come in, into it, see what's here, from out there. Um, and tonight, what's on my mind is, how can we be more playful in our practice? So I want to invite you, totally tonight, to have that on your mind. How can we be more playful? But I want to begin by just, Stomping your feet.
[00:00:36] And if you have a lot of energy, stomp loud. A little bit of energy. And slow down.
[00:00:48] And just bring awareness to your feet right now. Notice. Notice the energy in the feet.
[00:00:59] Notice the energy in the legs. Notice the energy in the body.
[00:01:04] Notice, notice, notice. Notice.
[00:01:11] Maybe taking a moment to look around the room. Above everybody's heads. Check out your space. Let the head move around. That's all that's needed. For the nervous system to kind of let you know that, Okay, alright, this is the surroundings. These are the exits. There's no lurkers behind me. Or maybe there is.
[00:01:32] If you make eye contact with somebody, you can just give a head nod.
[00:01:39] So, resting your eyes somewhere that's comforting, interesting, or somewhere in between.
[00:01:49] You can leave your eyes open or close your eyes,
[00:01:57] and whether your eyes are open or closed, just noticing.
[00:02:03] Noticing what's present, what's here, what's alive. This internal landscape right now, coming in from the outside world.
[00:02:17] Remembering that here, at least, at least here, there's no part of you that's not welcome here.
[00:02:36] So if the mind is kind of swirly in thought, feelings right now, wanting to be somewhere else, that's okay. Validate that. It's here.
[00:02:53] We don't need to push anything away, but what we can do is just steer our awareness to what else is here. Again, bringing our awareness down to the feet.
[00:03:07] Feeling this body resting in the seat.
[00:03:18] Feeling the spine being supported or supporting itself.
[00:03:27] Letting yourself be held in this moment. There's no effort needed to be sitting right now. Let the floor, the chair, this earth hold you. You've arrived.
[00:03:45] Noticing this breath. It's just breathing all on its own. Again, effortlessly. So we just notice where we feel the breath coming in, going out.
[00:04:04] And yeah, you notice sound. Wishing that a sound would go away.
[00:04:14] Or maybe wishing another sound that's not a sound, would enter.
[00:04:23] But if we let go, opinions, preferences, is just sound.
[00:04:43] And you've arrived.
[00:04:52] The only thing wrong with this moment is the opinion, the preference, or the idea that there's something wrong with this moment.
[00:05:15] And I want to invite you for, for a second here to reflect.
[00:05:26] First. Notice
[00:05:33] sound comes, sound goes.
[00:05:39] Only thing that lingers is our preference or opinions are wanting or not wanting.
[00:05:52] And again, shifting our awareness to, to reflect, I want to invite you,
[00:06:05] invite you to reflect on when was the last time you were playful, maybe even goofy.
[00:06:26] How does that feel to even think about?
[00:06:35] Or can you even find a memory?
[00:06:43] We can be so rigid. When was the last time? Maybe when you were just a kid. Just being goofy.
[00:06:58] Playful. Not caring what others thought. Or if I'm doing it wrong or right.
[00:07:14] So notice, maybe there's pleasant memories. Maybe there's only blocks, wanting, wishing, there's no wrong way to feel. We're just noticing here
[00:07:29] and then returning our awareness to the feet, the sea, the sounds, holding whatever thought or memory just in the back of the mind.
[00:07:46] And we'll end with a few. Three breaths together. So I want to invite you on the count of three to just slowly gently breathe in through the nose and just let the air fall from the mouth. So on three, one, two, three in and let it go. No effort. Again, gently in through the nose. Fill up the whole body and then let it just fall.
[00:08:23] Softening. All the way out. Push a little bit more out. Again, in. And at the top, hold it just for a moment. And let it go with some sound.
[00:08:39] Nice. You've arrived. You're here.
[00:09:00] Welcome to everybody that just showed up. Appreciate you being here.
[00:09:08] So before I get into my spiel, which I don't even know what it is. A little bit around playfulness, I guess.
[00:09:18] What came to mind? What didn't come to mind? When was the last time you were goofy or playful? Share a memory with me. With us.
[00:09:30] Or was it hard? Was it blocked? Share that. Is it difficult to notice?
[00:09:43] Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yeah. Chris.
[00:10:09] Say that one more time. Some inappropriate happened. Usually. Yeah. Nice.
[00:10:35] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:10:46] Yeah. What a crazy story and just like, yeah, being vulnerable with it. Yeah. Beautiful. Anybody else? Please. Yeah.
[00:11:13] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:11:29] For sure.
[00:11:34] Yeah. Barely new and you're doing cartwheels. Yeah. Totally. Sounds like freedom. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, for me, doing a cartwheel now might break a lot of things, but, uh, it sounds kind of fun. Yeah, of course, cartwheels. Yeah, these days. Yeah, please. Yeah.
[00:12:08] Yeah. Yeah. Nice. You absorb it. It's joyful hanging out with the dogs and other peeps. Yeah. That's cool.
[00:12:24] I don't know. When did we get so serious? You know? I really like reflecting, especially with the practice of mindfulness and self help stuff or whatever we're doing here, right? It's a mindfulness group, so we'll stick to that. Because seriously, we want to feel better, right? So we're really intense about it.
[00:12:51] We've got to be serious about it.
[00:12:59] And I just wanted, what inspired this was, you know, I haven't had much time to really, if you were here last week, I wasn't here last week, I was on retreat. Um, and I take my meditation retreats really serious. It's like 10 day, 12 day silent meditation retreats. I'm just fucking inward.
[00:13:25] And, uh, this one wasn't that. It was totally different. And I, I took a risk because I'm like, I want to try something different, you know, and I knew the facilitator, I knew the person putting it on and I knew that they would hold space really well, but it was different, but it was super, it was deeper than I've ever gone.
[00:13:50] Wasn't silent. And it was practice in the morning and it was talking. And there was play during the, uh, next half of the day. It was amazing. Deep and playful, you know. And I just wonder, you know, how can we bring more playfulness to our practice? I mean, I don't know. I have some ideas.
[00:14:28] And how can we bring that? Here's the other question too, because I was noticing a lot of playfulness was coming up in my practice. And how it looks is goofy movements for me. Is it really interesting? It's like if someone saw me right now, they'd be like, what the fuck is this guy doing? But I'll do it. I like it.
[00:14:49] I like it. You know? But I do, if like, I feel like someone's watching, I'm like, uh, what if someone sees I'm doing this fucking weird shit? I don't know. Feeling where the body wants to move, I don't know. But how, I think the question for me, and I was finding it, is how do we be playful, goofy, whatever we want to call it, but still being centered, still being rooted, still being grounded?
[00:15:20] Because that's when it integrates into our nervous system. That's when it integrates into our being. So it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what others think. It's just doing something. It's just, can we be inspired just to move sometimes? You know, and I think it's important for us. I know it's important for us.
[00:15:48] And it's important for us to keep showing up for ourselves the way we are. But we can get so fucking serious. Because it is serious for some of us, right? You know?
[00:16:03] But can, for me, I, I think there's this word, titration. Everybody know what this titration kind of means? So titration is, is like you go deep, and then you come out of it. And you go, it's like, you go deep. You could get really stuck in the depth sometimes. So, or you can get stuck in the playful. Anybody get stuck in the playful?
[00:16:28] You got to keep taking things to be playful, you know? So it says, how do we do both? And I, that's the practice. Mindfulness practice is how do we find herself in the middle of both? Whether it's, uh, Suffering and joy, whether it's seriousness and playfulness. Where can we find balance? Balance. You know, in the Buddhist tradition, it's one of the qualities of the heart that is here, is equanimity, balance.
[00:17:07] Equanimity of balance of the mind. Not so stuck in one thing or grasping another. It's just this balance. Doesn't mean one thing's there and the other thing's not. That's a tough one, right?
[00:17:27] And we can get hurt too. I was surfing and I fucked up my ribs so bad that it hurts really bad. I bruised my ribs. You know, but I had so much fun. So much fun.
[00:17:45] And when this was coming to mind was I was in the meditation, the meditation hall. And you know, there was one day I was like, You know, this is too loose, I need to really, Today I'm just going to meditate all day. You know? Because I am serious. So I was the only one in the hall.
[00:18:10] It was beautiful. I was right on the beach. But I do a sitting and walking, sitting and walking. And I've been noticing that it's the movement. It's the movement. It's the movement, the walking. It's like all of a sudden it's just like, yeah, just different. Like, I was just like, huh, what does the body want to do right now?
[00:18:34] Just a curiosity and not trying to be rigid. Okay. Foot foot. And you know, there is benefit in that, but then I'll do that for a little bit. And then I'll be like, I'll do like a slide foot.
[00:18:47] What is it? A pirouette and granted I was by myself in the meditation hall. I was getting funky with it. But it was so joyful. I was laughing at myself. You know? And I don't experience that much. I mean, I tried, we tried to have those experiences, right? And those can be stressful. Like, I'm a musician, I have a band, and it's like, you know, it brings me a lot of joy, but then I'm stressed out.
[00:19:16] So I gotta book shows, I gotta put up And then I'm at the show, and it's like, I'm setting up my stuff, and it's like, you know. You can't just be in the moment, you know? Enjoy the seriousness of getting everything together. Not enjoy it, but just do it, you know? But then enjoy the act of being. Enjoy the act of being.
[00:19:42] Interesting. And I feel like, I
[00:19:51] feel like that's what everything, everyone is pointing to. The act of just being. Not being without. Not being always with. But just being. Not doing, trying, rigid. You know? And I feel like, for me, if we're more malleable like that, it opens up. I've seen a lot of, including myself, getting burnt out. Burnt out.
[00:20:29] Anybody feel burnt out on practice, every, you know, practice and meditation? Yeah. Or, I don't know, burnt out on going to meetings all the time, whatever it is, you know. Whatever it is to get us, what we need to do. Because if we don't, I believe that. I believe the more we come home, here, the more all that information, all the things, all the insights, That's all the people that have supported us and pointed us in directions.
[00:21:05] All the messages that we've heard are right here. That's another reflection for me is like all my teachers, all mentors of friends, the pointers and messengers, that's all, you know, the programs, the spiritual modalities, pointers and messengers to come home. And we need that. It's very beneficial. You know, the structure is good.
[00:21:38] But can we come home? Can we be goofy? Can we need, can, We, not, I wouldn't say be rigid, but can we, You know, if we need to focus our attention more, let's focus our attention more. You know? But you get to have choice in it, right? Cause you've balanced both, you know, ah, okay. You know, I think for tonight, like if you, if you can, I'm going to invite you to,
[00:22:14] you know, we'll start, I'll guide the meditation and get it, find an anchor, find a place, come home to when the mind is drifting, maybe in something that's sticky, something you got to do, or you don't want to do, or whatever life is up, you know, has for you.
[00:22:32] But then just allowing the mind to be the mind, you know, allowing the body to be the body. If the body wants to get up and move, there's a lot of room back there. Walk around. If you want to stare outside the window, maybe that what's inspiring you. This doesn't have to be a rigid, like, Oh no, I'm meditating.
[00:22:54] Joe's going to grade me at the end of this. I used to think that I'd be a good meditator. I was looking at everybody else and like that person looks like they're really having a deep meditative thing. I'm fucking bugging out. Then I'd ask them after Mike, damn, you were fucking killing it in your meditation.
[00:23:15] Like I was freaking out.
[00:23:23] We make it bigger than it is.
[00:23:31] You know? So I always want to invite you to do you. You know, I offer some guidance, offer some of my experience, but such a self empowering practice that it's really, it's you. You're just coming home to the goodness that is you without trying. That's, we don't need to try. It's right here. I mean, no matter how long ago you're doing cartwheels, you're doing cartwheels, you know, that part of you is still there.
[00:24:01] Maybe it's not cartwheels now. Maybe it's something else. I don't know. What's something that maybe you've been kind of scared to do, but you're going to do, maybe you should just do. I was very intimidated to do this bougie ass fucking retreat. I mean, I'm like, ah, good food, but you know, I really, you know, once a year I really need to.
[00:24:21] And it was one of the most deep and profound retreats I've fucking have had. You know, one of them, I've had a lot of really beautiful ones, you know. But I think for me, my practice is, is that like, how can I find balance with this good meditator or, you know, goofy fuck off dude, whatever, you know, who cares, you know, cause that's not good either.
[00:24:49] Balance, balance, balance, balance, balance, balance, balance, come home and listen, listen, listen, listen. What does your body need? Does your mind want to, maybe your mind wants to reflect on something that brings you joy, you know, or maybe you want to just rest on the breath. Rest on the sounds. There's nothing you need to do here.
[00:25:15] The only thing I do ask is just be respectful of the group. If you want to go in the back and you're really feeling inspired to sing in a cookie monster voice like a death rock band, maybe not here is appropriate.
[00:25:33] Chant Hare Krishna in the back, I'm down, but maybe not here. Maybe not here. But maybe there's a time that you can do that. Fuck yeah. Hell yeah is the time to do that. Find it. Who knows? If we don't pay attention, we won't see the signs. You know? Because there is signs. There's signs, there's messages.
[00:25:58] They're all around us. Nature is a freaking great teacher. A beautiful teacher. This group of people. Great teachers. Got a couple of them in the front row.
[00:26:17] Both my fucking parents are here. Judging me. No, they're not.
[00:26:28] Okay. So, I'm going to get into a meditation. Enough of me talking about my I don't even know what I said. Did I say some things? Sound good? Sound alright? Okay, cool. Nick approves, so we're good. I only cussed a couple times. Really trying to watch that. I don't know why, but Someone told me it takes away my frequency.
[00:26:50] So I'm like, I don't want to do that.
[00:26:54] See, I believe anything. It's like, what do I need to do to be super spiritual?
[00:27:04] Throw it all away.
[00:27:05] This is called the treat yourself meditation. So treat yourself, yeah. Drink your slurpy looking thing. I can do that shit. Love it. Check out Amy's killer shoes. Amy, you got the best shoes, always. You must work out really good. I know, I saw that. Alright, y'all. Sorry. Sorry, I really am. Stop.
[00:27:45] So again, this invitation. Laughter is beautiful. Okay. Okay. So just finding a posture that's supportive, comfortable, maybe even that, maybe it's like, how can you be 1 percent more comfortable or at ease? If you need pillows or blankets, there's a room next door that has some pillows and blankets.
[00:28:21] Go for it, yeah. Um,
[00:28:28] so right next door, to your right. She's gonna get lost, my mom's gonna get lost. If you didn't notice, that's my mom. Can't tell by the height. Yeah.
[00:28:46] So just settling in.
[00:29:04] I was, uh,
[00:29:07] reading Jon Kabat Zinn's book a little bit. Uh,
[00:29:17] I think the title is this, but I might be getting it mixed up with some AA thing, but it's like, no matter where you go, there you are. That's the title of his book. But I hear that in Twelve Step a lot. Um, yeah. And I like Jon Kabat Zinn's take on this mindfulness practice. It's stemmed from the Buddhist tradition of, you don't need to be a Buddhist to do this kind of thing.
[00:29:45] It's where I land, at least. So just let these words fall in your, your ears and your mind. And just
[00:29:59] let whatever resonates. Land, it doesn't resonate, just go, but he writes, what is mindfulness?
[00:30:12] From his perspective, he writes, mindfulness is an ancient Buddhist practice which has profound relevance for our present day lives.
[00:30:29] This relevance has nothing to do with Buddhism. per se, or with becoming a Buddhist. But it has everything to do with waking up and living in harmony with oneself and with the world.
[00:30:56] It has to do with examining who we are, with questioning our view of the world and our place in it. And with cultivating some appreciate appreciation for the fullness of each moment we are alive. Most of all, it has to do with being in touch.
[00:31:25] It's simply a practice of, sorry, it's, it is simply a practical way to be more in touch with the fullness of your being through a systematic process of self observation, self inquiry and mindful action.
[00:31:48] There is nothing cold, analytical or unfeeling about it.
[00:32:00] The overall tenor of mindfulness practice is gentle, appreciative, and nurturing. Another way to think of it would be heartfulness.
[00:32:27] There's nothing you need to be right now.
[00:32:35] You don't even have to be annoyed at the sound outside.
[00:32:47] We can notice when our mind is stuck. And a preference, an opinion, a thought, a plan that's happening totally. But what else is happening? The feet are connected with the shoe, the sock, the floor, the body is resting in the seat.
[00:33:23] We bring awareness to the body. Sometimes we notice tension, pain, but maybe there's also softening. Comfort. The way the air is touching the skin right now.
[00:33:45] The way the breath is just breathing all on its own. There's no effort needed.
[00:33:55] Greeting the breath.
[00:34:00] Expanding. Letting the air of the breath expand. Give that pain some room to just be. And maybe, allowing it to soften on
[00:34:20] the out breath.
[00:34:37] We notice the sounds,
[00:34:43] we notice seeing,
[00:34:48] taste and smell,
[00:34:53] and we notice the mind wanting it to be different.
[00:35:03] We let that go and come back home to something that maybe isn't distracting. Maybe it's just a little nurturing. Maybe it's just a little comforting.
[00:35:28] Because if we're so focused on the unpleasant, we won't notice when it is pleasant.
[00:35:41] Everything comes and goes, it's the nature of things, it's ephemeral, coming and going.
[00:35:55] If we allow,
[00:35:59] let go of the grip, control, and rest,
[00:36:11] rest the awareness. The mind will follow. Rest the awareness on something that feels good enough right now.
[00:36:39] And no matter how many times the mind gets caught in preference or opinion, plans and memories,
[00:36:50] doesn't mean that's doing this practice wrong or you're making some kind of mistake. It's actually an opportunity. The practice, letting go, letting be, naming it, thinking, plan, memory, opinion, preference, and welcoming yourself back home to the feet, the seat, the sounds, the breath,
[00:37:25] and just allowing yourself to rest only for a moment.
[00:37:32] It's good enough. You're doing great.
[00:37:57] This is the simplicity of the practice.
[00:38:04] Doesn't make it easy.
[00:38:15] Practice doesn't make perfect here. Just make some progress. So we can see.
[00:38:29] You can see clearly the mind clinging, craving, pushing away, grasping.
[00:38:39] And the pain, the suffering that it causes.
[00:38:59] The guarantee or the perfect, whatever you want to be, become
[00:39:11] practitioner, Buddhist, spiritual person,
[00:39:19] it's right here.
[00:39:25] The heart's guiding you, listen,
[00:40:19] remembering this place of contact, anchor returning,
[00:40:31] but Pay attention. Does the body need anything right now to be a little bit more comfortable?
[00:40:46] Can we direct the mind
[00:40:53] to be a little bit more malleable, not so rigid.
[00:41:21] If you want to guide the mind to reflect on something that brings you joy or time when
[00:41:33] you're a little bit more loose without the extracurricular stuff that makes us loosen up sometimes. Playful, goofy, maybe a little uncomfortable.
[00:41:59] What's your desire?
[00:42:06] My desire is always to be free.
[00:42:17] Free from the constant judgment. Starting with myself.
[00:42:37] Or maybe reflecting on something that brings a smile to your face right now.
[00:42:45] Warms your heart, gladdens your heart.
[00:43:04] And if you find yourself really drifting off somewhere, you can come back. It's titration word, right? Playful, curious, wandering, and then guide yourself back the feet, the seat, the sounds of breath, and check in to how you feel. What does it feel like after you've reflected on joy or happiness? Playfulness.
[00:44:55] Maybe now just taking a moment,
[00:45:01] checking in again with the feet, the seed, the sounds, the breath, checking in with your anchor, your place to come home to.
[00:45:12] Not judging the mind if it was away somewhere else, it's okay.
[00:45:23] Maybe bring to mind now something that
[00:45:34] would bring joy into your life. Be a little bit more playful.
[00:45:44] Something maybe you've been thinking, Ah, that might be kind of neat, but I don't know.
[00:45:55] Maybe even imagining yourself doing it.
[00:46:07] I don't know, running around crazy at Burning Man. Who knows?
[00:46:16] You can do whatever you want in your mind. No one's looking.
[00:46:30] And even notice when the mind is judging or saying, No way. It's okay. You can honor that part too.
[00:47:07] Always remembering, as we reflect, to bring some awareness to the feet, the seat, the sounds, and check in with how it feels to even reflect on this, if you're reflecting.
[00:47:24] Is there excitement? Is there worry? There's no wrong way to feel, we just notice.
[00:47:35] Or if you feel nothing, that's okay too.
[00:47:48] I'm just being curious right now. Trying things on.
[00:47:55] Staying grounded in our practice. Moment to moment awareness. Feet, seeds, sounds, breath. Sights, tastes, smell.
[00:48:24] Take a risk in your mind.
[00:48:35] Go on a bougie retreat in Panama.
[00:48:43] Where they make you dance. The end of the retreat. Then you do it.
[00:48:54] They don't make you, but they're doing it.
[00:49:08] So whatever it is, your heart's desire, to be just a little bit more free, not afraid, to be judged,
[00:49:22] the courage to just be a little awkward,
[00:49:34] dance, sing, play. Remembering
[00:50:26] that you always have the option just to rest here right now, Nowhere to go. Nothing you need to do. No better you that you need to be or become. You can just rest.
[00:52:25] Can you soften a little bit more into this moment?
[00:52:33] Can you orient the mind to rest in a little bit of ease that is here waiting? Allow.
[00:52:52] There's no effort needed, there's nothing you need to find, it's right here.
[00:53:11] Right here within the mess of each moment, each moment. This human experience.
[00:53:34] Maybe that's the adventure. This crusade to find this gold that is in each moment. This gold that is you. This goodness. Beyond all the causes and conditions.
[00:53:59] Thorns, the barbed wire, the snakes.
[00:54:05] Causes and conditions.
[00:55:20] And each one of you is really on a hero's journey.
[00:55:34] It's practice, coming inward and having to go outward. It's ultimate relative reality.
[00:55:57] We dance. Between the difficulties. of life,
[00:56:13] rest, this goodness of connection,
[00:56:20] inward connection,
[00:56:26] advanced practitioners.
[00:56:55] I honor your practice more than any monk that just lives in a monastery, separated from this
[00:57:10] world of stress and moment to moment
[00:57:18] stresses of life. It's advanced practice.
[00:57:30] And you continue to show up for yourself. How beautiful.
[00:58:12] Let yourself dance, y'all.
[00:58:17] Don't be scurred.
[00:58:25] So many signs. Mmm.
[00:58:56] Just taking these next few moments to bring your awareness back to the feet, the seat, the sounds.
[00:59:08] Checking into the body. If the body needs to shift a little bit and you stretch,
[00:59:18] let go of any efforting in the mind, just wander.
[00:59:24] It's notice
[00:59:43] as they ring the bell in a couple moments here. I invite you to even play with this inner outward attention. Open the eyes a little bit and close the eyes open close. Notice difference. What's here. I appreciate y'all. Yep, see you in another dream.